Author: Annette Ciotola
Email: AMCiotola@aol.com
Rated: PG
This is not exactly Lois and Clark, but a very good friend once said, “It’s not the names, but the circumstances … ”
I would just like to thank Julie, Nek, Crys, Annie and Misha. Without any of you this would have never made it to the paper it’s printed on. By rights each of you deserve the co-author title for your suggestions and giving me the courage to finish it and to Nek for being a great editor.
To my CK, wherever you may be, this is for you. Don’t take too long getting here. 😉
Chapter 1: The Day We Met
I met him when I was twenty-one. He was on location, shooting a commercial in the city where I lived. Well, I actually didn’t know that until later, but we’ll come back to that. I met him at the local dance club.
It was a place I frequented since my birthday. My friends and I went twice a week. I didn’t go because of the drinking, I went for the dancing, I loved it. It was so easy to get lost in the sensations – the music pulsating its beat around me. I loved it loud.
The only time I didn’t dance was during slow sets. I would often curse the DJ for playing them. If I had no one to dance with, then why play them? Maybe it was just me feeling sorry for myself, I didn’t know. It all changed the night I met him.
It was during a slow number. I was at the bar, too busy trying to get the bartender to notice me, and I didn’t see him sitting there at first.
“Hi!”
I thought I heard something, but usually no one other than my friends, who were all female, would speak to me. So I continued with my death stare at the woman bartender who was flirting with the guys at of the end of the bar instead of waiting on me. Oh yeah, she’s going to get tipped now, I thought.
“Hi!”
I felt a finger tap me on the shoulder. When I turned around I was staring into the most gorgeous set of brown eyes I had ever seen.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know this seat was taken. I’ll try and be gone before your girlfriend gets back. That is, if this bartender decides to wait on me.” I started to fan myself, ’cause it started getting hotter than usual, if that was at all possible in the middle of July.
“I’m not waiting for my girlfriend, I don’t have one.”
“Oh.” Yep, the temperature definitely went up a few degrees.
“Would you like to dance?”
“No, thanks. Maybe some other time.” I smiled at him. I should have kicked myself instead. At least my stupidity didn’t discourage him. He persisted.
“How about if I buy you a drink instead.” He smiled. It was a beautiful smile. I felt myself melting.
“Well, that would be great. Besides I don’t think I’m her type.” He laughed. It was a manly laugh. I felt like I was floating. I was tempted to pinch myself, but I figured if I was dreaming I didn’t want to wake up.
It amazed me sometimes that he showed interest in me. I was no ugly duckling, but I wasn’t a super model either. I guess you can say I was kinda cute. My hair was below my shoulders and wavy, when pulled back I looked younger than I actually was. I was only a little over five feet three and I considered myself a little chubby, although everyone thought I my weight was fine. That night was a Friday, so I was dressed very casual. I had on one of my better pair of jeans with a fashionable tee shirt.
The only thing was, I tended to like to be by myself a lot and read. Guys just weren’t interested in that. I had only one boyfriend in my life and I wouldn’t really call him that. We just liked to hang out together.
Now this guy, on the other hand, was tall, dark and handsome. He was six feet, easy, and he had the hair to match the eyes. Through the polo shirt he wore, you could tell how well defined he was. You knew he was the type to enjoy a good work out. He probably could have had the attention of any woman in the place, he definitely had mine, yet here was this hunk of man wanting to spend some time with me, whether it be a five-minute dance or an hour-long conversation.
He got us each a drink and then we headed to the lower level of the club. It was much quieter there and we were able to talk.
I didn’t learn too much about him that first night. Somehow, the conversation kept coming back around to me. I’d never had a guy interested in hearing what I was talking about before. He just kept asking me about me.
“You’ve got a twin brother? I’ve always wondered what that’s like. Can you read each other’s minds?”
“Oh, I’d hardly go that far … but we have a sense of each other, and what we feel, more than with other people.”
“So, you can’t tell what I’m thinking right now, huh?” He grinned, that white flash that lit up this darkened corner of the lounge like a beacon, calling me to him.
“Let uz zee …” I said in my worst psychic accent. I reached over and rather boldly took his face between my hands.
At first I giggled as I pretended to look deep into his eyes, but then I grew serious. It was a losing battle as I felt myself fall deeper in the dark pools that led me to his soul. What I saw reflecting back touched me.
I saw a longing there. Perhaps the same longing I felt day in and day out. A longing to fill the emptiness deep within his heart. An emptiness no one other than that special someone could fill. Could that be it? As if by a magnet, I felt myself being pulled toward him.
We were within a hair’s breadth away when all of a sudden I felt nervous. I released my hold on him and quickly looked away. I was feeling something I have never felt before. I couldn’t quite place it, but it kinda scared me. When I returned to his gaze the moment was lost.
I did manage to learn a few things about him. I knew he was not from the area, he loved to write, and that he could be shy at times. He had a tendency to lower his voice whenever anyone walked by.
It was amazing how fast the time went. We never did make it back up to the club, we just stayed where we were and talked. He did manage to take my hand in his and I made no attempt to remove it. When I was about to start asking some questions of my own, I noticed that my friends were looking for me. Why is it when you have the interest of a very cute guy, your friends always seem to know where you are?
“Ah, I see that your friends are waiting, but I’d really like to know you better.” I was thinking, what more can he possibly ask me, but I just nodded. “Would you mind if I called you for, maybe, lunch tomorrow?”
While in my heart I shouted, “YES,” my brain said, “don’t sound too eager.” I sighed.
“Well if you’re busy …” He seemed to look rejected. Why was I giving him such a hard time?
“No, wait, I’d like that. I’m just not too sure I can make it for lunch.” Who was I kidding, I wanted to make sure I looked my best before I saw him again and lunch was too early.
He smiled at me in the same way he did at least a thousand times that night. I prayed to anyone and everyone that I could think of that this not be a dream.
So we made plans to meet for dinner. He knew of this little place off the riverfront near where I lived. It was one of my favorite restaurants. They had great food and a romantic atmosphere. We agreed to meet there instead of him picking me up.
He walked with us out to the car, holding my hand in his. I thought he was going to kiss me once everyone else had gotten in the car, but he didn’t even try. So I took matters into my own hands, a bold move, even for me. I reached up on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek. I knew I was blushing. He looked taken aback, but he smiled and squeezed my hand.
After a brief good night I watched him walk towards another area of the parking lot. I sighed and prepared myself for the third degree from my friends, waiting rather impatiently for me in the car.
Chapter 2: The Big Dinner Date
I had arrived at the restaurant five minutes late. I was grateful I wasn’t later than that because I swear everything that could’ve gone wrong did.
Not usually one to be real fussy about my looks, I’d taken extra care that night.
Well, for starters, my hair just did not agree with being done up. I burned myself with the curling iron, but luckily I was able to cover up the red mark left behind. I went through about three pair of pantyhose before I decided it was so hot I might as well not wear any. I figured I’d wear a pair of sandals instead of flats, but couldn’t find mine, so I borrowed my sister’s. Finally the dress I was going to wear had a very noticeable spot, so once again I headed off to my sister’s closet. It was a real good thing she wasn’t home.
When I walked up to the entrance I saw him standing right inside the doors. He saw me and broke out into a huge smile, and opened the door for me. My heart skipped a beat.
“Hi. Have you been waiting long?”
“Just long enough for them to have our table ready.” He motioned to the waitress and she led us to a table in a corner of the room. He took my hand while we walked through the dining area and I noticed a lot of people turning to look in our direction. They looked at him as if they recognized him. I just shrugged it off and beamed because I was the one he chose to be with.
When we reached our table he pulled out my chair for me, which amazed me because I didn’t think men did that kind of stuff anymore. The waitress handed us each a menu and took our drink order. He ordered a diet coke and I did the same. I wanted to keep a clear head because I was never gonna forget this night if it killed me.
So now I kinda had him where I wanted him and I didn’t even know where to start. I picked up my menu and began to study it, shyly.
“So, tell me what’s good here. I only know this place by reputation. Every time I come to this area, my agent tells me about this place. His wife loves it and he gives the food four stars.”
His agent? He had an agent? More questions.
“Well, I haven’t eaten here in quite awhile, but they’re famous for their seafood, and the chicken is pretty good.”
He flipped through his menu as if he couldn’t decide what he wanted. After a few minutes he closed it and looked up at me and smiled. If you only knew what that smile did to me. I felt like I was melting. He had this cute little dimple that showed every time.
“Have you decided what you want?” He put his menu off to the side.
I flashed him my brightest smile before I looked back down at my menu and made a quick decision. “I actually think I’ll go with the grilled chicken. I usually don’t go for anything out of the ordinary when eating out.”
“I try to stick to the usual stuff myself. I was out in Arizona one time with a friend and he ordered this one dish, tongue, I can’t even remember which animal it was from. It had this weird name, but man, was I kinda grossed out when the waiter told us what it really was.” He started laugh. “I swear my buddy turned three shades of green and just before we were enlightened he was raving how good it tasted.”
I made a face myself, but then began to laugh with him. I told him that I would’ve reacted the same way.
“Ya know, you have a really beautiful laugh.” I blushed and offered him another smile as he reached across the table for my hand. I took his into mine.
“Thanks, yours ain’t so bad either. But we are not going to talk about me tonight.”
“Oh?” He laughed again.
“Nope, it won’t be that bad, I survived last night, didn’t I?” I grinned and squeezed his hand gently.
“Yes, you did and I guess I owe you,” he told me in a teasing way and squeezed back.
Just then the waitress appeared with our drinks. When she asked if we were ready to order, he went ahead and ordered the grill chicken dishes for both of us. I was once again impressed with him. I was also touched. I had never had a man do anything for me, let alone open doors for me or anything like that. For the second time that weekend I hoped that I was not dreaming.
While we were waiting for our dinner he started to talk a little about himself. I learned that he came from a very close knit family. He had a brother and a sister and the man he called his father was actually his mom’s second husband.
What I heard him say next, though, really floored me. He was an actor, which was why he was in my area. They were filming this commercial he was doing near by. It was a location shoot. He had done over 30 of them so far, one of which apparently became a hit with the ladies.
I really took a good look at him when he said that.
“What? Do I have something on my face?” He chuckled, but wiped his face with his napkin anyway.
“You’re him.”
“I’m who?”
“You’re the Diet Coke man! That explains why so many of the women were staring at you when we walked in.” Way to be tactful, I scolded myself.
He blushed.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you, it’s just I remember waiting for that commercial to air because I always thought that man was just plain … um, he was really … nice … looking, um, ya know what, just forget I said that, O.K.?” I was babbling so much he probably thought I was an idiot by now. I released his hand and looked down at the table.
He started laughing. Not a condescending laugh, but in a good-natured kind of way. He once again reached over the table, but instead of taking my hand, he reached up to cup my cheek. Lifting my head, he looked right into my eyes and I felt like he was reaching deep into my soul.
“I think you’re something pretty special, too.” He leaned closer to me, never taking his eyes off mine.
I was thinking, this is it, he’s gonna kiss me.
“Here ya go. Be careful the plates are kinda hot.” Somehow that waitress always seemed to turn up at the most inopportune moments.
All throughout dinner he talked a little bit more about himself. He talked about high school and how he won a football scholarship to college, but he was not your ordinary jock. He excelled in school, but when he graduated a pro football team drafted him. He was only with them for a short time. He injured his knee and so began his venture in to acting.
I learned his father was a director who worked mostly with country music. He directed movies, too. In one of them his father let him have a bit part. His character died in it, so he didn’t have much exposure. However, he said his agent did have something in the works for him. He has been leaning towards TV for some reason.
He also told me about his dream to write. For as much as he loved his work in front of the camera, he really wanted to follow the footsteps of his father. His father had always supported his writing, and would rather have him behind the camera than in front, but if it made his son happy he wouldn’t stand in his way.
It really was an amazing night. We spent over two hours in the restaurant. We talked a lot. The more I knew about him, though, the more I kept telling myself to just relax and have some fun. I didn’t think I would see him ever again. If he became a huge star, at least I would be able to say I had a great time with him. It’s funny how wrong one can be. Fate has a funny way of dealing her cards.
When we finally left the restaurant it was still kind of early, I really didn’t want the night to end. Apparently he didn’t either.
“Listen, it’s still kind of early. Would you like to catch a movie or something?” He glanced at his watch, “Actually it might be too late for a movie, but there could be something we can do.” He had this hopeful look on his face.
I thought about it for a minute.
“Ya know what? I believe I still owe you a dance.”
“Why, yes, I believe you do.” He grinned. “Do you want to go back to the dance club?”
“Sounds like a plan. Do you want to meet up there?”
He held his hand out to me.
“Well, you can leave your car here and I will bring you back later. If that’s okay with you, that is …”
“That’s fine.” I smiled at him and took his hand.
We really didn’t say much on the way to the club. We just enjoyed each other’s company. His rented car was a stick shift, so he unwillingly let go of my hand so he could shift when he needed to.
It also meant I couldn’t sit as close to him as I would have liked. So I just sat back and watched him drive. He looked over at me from time to time just to flash a quick smile.
When we got there, he asked if I wanted a drink, but I just grabbed his hand and pulled him to the dance floor. There was a fast song playing, one of my favorites, so I just started moving to the sound. He, on the other hand, looked a little lost, but he was a trooper. He stayed with me the entire time. It didn’t occur to me until later that he might have been just taking it slow because of his knee.
After a few fast dance songs, they finally played a slow set. He immediately pulled me close. At first he held my one hand while his other circled my waist. My other hand went around the back of his neck. I rested my head on his shoulder comfortably and closed my eyes. Once again I was amazed, it seemed as if he and I were made to fit perfectly together.
After the first song ended, he moved his other arm to my waist while both of mine hooked behind his neck. He pulled me a little closer, if that was at all possible and began whispering in my ear.
“There is something I’ve been wanting to do since I met you last night.”
I turned my head to face him and looked up into his eyes and before I could say anything he lowered his head towards mine and kissed me.
How do I explain his kiss? I’ve never been kissed by a man like that before. Whatever flame was burning since the time we met, was now a three-alarm blaze. I felt myself come alive.
It started out gentle, but then as he began to deepen it, he swept his tongue across my lips before I opened up and let him in. The sensation of his tongue thrusting in and out my mouth was incredible. I was losing myself to this man. If he wasn’t holding me like has was my knees would have given away.
When he pulled away from the kiss, he tightened his embrace and worked his way to my earlobe. I snuggled up to him and planted smaller kisses along his neck before settling once again on his shoulder and sighed. I didn’t think I could’ve been happier than I was at that moment.
I never wanted the song to end, but as all good things must, it did. It’s funny, ya know, I’ve never liked the slow dances. It always reminded me of how alone I really was. I kept hoping that this could be the turning point. It felt so right with him.
Instead of staying for another dance, he led me off the dance floor and up to the bar. He kept one arm casually draped around my waist.
“Would you like a drink?”
I looked at his watch and noticed the time.
“Oh, I would really love to …”
“But …” He looked away, disappointed, like he knew what was coming.
“But, I have work in the morning and Sunday’s are always a drag your butt day to begin with. I don’t really want the night to end, but duty calls.”
He brightened a little at knowing it was only because of work that I had leave.
“Okay, I can live with that. As long as I can call you tomorrow.”
“I’d be really disappointed if you didn’t.” I smiled at his grin, then leaned in for a quick kiss, which he returned very enthusiastically.
We spent the rest of his time here together. Between my work and his shooting schedule, it was tough, but we managed to spend quite a bit of time together. The nights I had to work he would come to visit me and the nights his shoot ran late we just had a quiet dinner somewhere. We also managed a few rounds of mini golf.
He even met my family and spent the following Sunday with us. They loved him and he seemed to enjoy the day with them. I think that’s when I knew I loved him. If anyone could put up with my family, he had to be worthy of my love, it was the least I could offer him.
His shoot wrapped up the week after I met him, but he managed to stay for two. By then end of that second week I was so far gone, there was no return. But I had to face reality. He was a West Coast boy and he was going home.
He asked me to accompany him to the airport. I knew I shouldn’t, it was hard enough leaving him, watching him go would only break my heart. I also knew that if I didn’t I would regret it. I went.
I was so sad all I wanted to do was cry, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do that in front of him. Instead I just sat quietly next to him, holding his hand, while we waited for his boarding call. It was amazing that he didn’t lose circulation in his arm from my grip. I never wanted to let him go.
Suddenly he released the grip I had on him, turned towards me, and took my face in his hands.
“I don’t want this to end. You and me.” Was he saying that he actually wanted to try to keep this thing between us going? He continued, “I have never felt this way about anyone else before. It’s kinda hard to explain, but I feel like we’re connected in some way and I like being with you. Hell, I like myself when I’m with you.”
I didn’t know what to say. I just looked into his eyes and saw how honest and sincere he was being. I was excited. And scared.
Could we make it work? He didn’t even wait for me to respond.
“I guess what I am saying is that I want to try the long distance thing. I can try and come here when I can …” This time I interrupted him and had to grin.
“But you hate to fly …”
“Doesn’t matter. My need for you is greater. Besides who says you can’t come to California?” He paused and thought about it. “Look I’m not asking you to live with me, I don’t think either of us is ready for that, but I am asking you not to forget me. I just want to be the one who fills your thoughts.”
I slipped my arms around his neck, leaned into him and hugged him to me.
“You do, believe me, you’re with me night and day.”
He leaned towards me and whispered in my ear, “Then what do you say, you wanna try it?” He then closed his mouth around my lobe and tugged gently.
“Yesss.” It was the only word I managed before his mouth sought out mine.
His flight was soon announced and we exchanged good-byes and more kisses. He promised to call as soon as he got home and with another quick kiss he walked through his gate.
I stayed and watched his plane take off. Then I went home to get some rest and hoped that he would call.
Chapter 3: The Friends and Family Long Distance Plan (or 10-10-321
True to his word, he called me late that night. I was thrilled, and not to mention relieved, that he did and that he made it home okay. He told me that he didn’t want to keep me long because of how late it was in my time zone, but we ended up talking for over an hour.
“I feel so bad about running up your phone bill. You have to let me help pay for it.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not like I didn’t enjoy the conversation, besides you’re worth it.” God, this man knew how to make a woman feel good. “And you better get used to me calling because I don’t think I can go more that a few days at a time without talking to you.”
“Well then I can do my part by calling you, too.” I wasn’t going to let him go broke by calling me all the time. I made a mental note to start buying pre paid phone cards.
“I also have your e-mail addy. ” He added proudly. I could almost see him grinning.
“That’s right there is e-mail too.” I couldn’t help but grin myself.
“Okay, I’m going to let you go so you can get your rest, but before I do …” he paused.
I waited.
“I love you.” It was barely a whisper, but it warmed me all over. This guy was incredible and I kept wondering what made me so special.
“And I love you.”
The smile was evident in his voice when he promised to call in a day or two, then we said goodnight.
So for the next few months we exchanged phone calls and e-mails. He came back to visit me twice and I had been out there to visit him. (It was my first time flying, remind me to tell you that story someday.)
Around the fourth month of our relationship, he was signed on to do a TV series. It would be an hour-long show where he was going to play a super hero who led a double life.
His schedule became grueling for about two months. I was so proud of him, but I wondered what it would do to our relationship. I didn’t have to worry, though. His calls never slowed down, not even when they began filming. They started as soon as the cast was put together. They were to film the pilot episode. It was to be presented to the network.
The network bought it and signed on for one season. It was going to be on the upcoming Fall lineup. The executives were so excited they decided to throw a big party for those involved.
He asked me to accompany him to the dinner, so I flew out for the whole week and made a vacation out of it.
Chapter 4: Moving Heaven and Earth
I was very excited to be back in California, but the most exciting part of this great state stood right outside of the gate where we got off the plane. I flung myself into his arms, after all it had been three months since the last time we’d seen each other.
“Hi, honey, I’m so glad you are here.” He pulled me in for a kiss. A kiss to tell me how much he missed me, how much he needed me and how much he loved me. Neither one of us cared that we were in a very public place.
“Mmm, me too,” I said after coming up for air, then I whispered, “I have missed you so much.” He pulled me into another earth moving kiss.
When the kiss ended, he decided that was enough for the general public and took a hold of my hand as we headed off to the baggage claim for my luggage. We loaded up his truck and headed to his place.
“So, what do you feel like doing for dinner tonight?” he asked while trying to maneuver his way out of LAX.
“I think I want to stay in, actually. I just want you to myself tonight. Why don’t we order a pizza or something.” It was still early, but dusk was already starting to work its way into the horizon.
“That sounds good, actually.” He smiled over at me.
I decided to let him concentrate on his driving, so I leaned back a little and closed my eyes.
I had actually been planning this night for the last month. Ya see, I had planned on this being our first night together. I loved him and I wanted to show him. Up until this point, I had been waiting and nervous.
He had been so great about it, too. He understood and was so sweet, I almost felt guilty. The thing was, I had never been with a man in that way before. Oh, sure, he and I got into it hot and heavy more than once, but I’d always been terrified to take it further. We’ve slept together, we just had not *slept* together.
We had discussed it on more than one occasion. He told me he would wait until I was comfortable enough, that he’d never pressure me. He never did. He seemed content on just being together. My love for him grew stronger because of that.
Well, it was all going to change. I even started on the pill so we would have one less worry. I have always heard that you need to give it at least a month before you can rely on it, so I had gone on it about two months before that night. Even though at that time I still wasn’t sure when I would be ready to take the next step, I wanted to *be* ready.
While thinking about what was to come, I must have dozed off, because the next thing I remembered was that he was gently shaking me. When I woke up I saw him looking down at me with a smile on his face.
“We’re home,” he helped me out of the truck. “Must have been an awful flight, you look like you can use some rest.”
“It was okay.” I yawned. “You been on one flight you’ve been on them all.” He grinned at that. “I think I just need to get cleaned up a little and relax. With you.”
He grabbed my suitcases and followed me toward the house. I stopped at the door and reached into his pocket for his keys. I grinned while feeling around for them and teased him about how happy he really must have been to see me.
When I unlocked the door, I walked inside but got no further before I was attacked by three big dogs, who were happy to see me. I frolicked with them for a few minutes while he squeezed by to put my luggage in his bedroom.
When he came out of the bedroom, he let out a short whistle and the dogs obediently went out the back as he held to door open for them.
“You okay?” He helped me to my feet and grinned. “At least I know I’m not the only one who misses you around here.”
“Yeah,” I grinned back at him. “Well, after that brief tumble I know I need a shower, good thing they’re lovable. Just like someone else I know.” His grin got even wider. I slipped my arms around his waist. After a brief hug he playfully pushed me away.
“Eww, dog germs. Why don’cha go take that shower and I’ll see about some dinner.” I agreed and went off to my task.
*****
When I came out of his bedroom I could smell the pizza and suddenly realized how hungry I really was. Following the delicious aroma, I went into the TV room to see him relaxing on the couch while flipping through some different sports channels. On the coffee table in front of him, he had set out two candles, still unlit, a couple of sodas on ice and the pizza box in the middle.
“Oh, planning something special?” I called from the doorway.
He looked up and gave me the once over.
“Only for someone special.” Smiling appreciatively, he added, “Nice shirt.” Once again his smile made my insides melt. I looked down at what I was wearing. I had on one of his old college T-shirts and a pair of his jogging shorts, both of which kinda hung loosely.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I really didn’t feel like rummaging through my suitcases for something to wear. Besides these feel comfortable.” I sat down on the couch next to him, but before I could make myself any more comfortable he got up to shut off the lights.
He lit both candles and held up two videos for me to choose from. I, of course, picked the sappy romantic one. He slid it into the VCR and then sat down beside me.
We really didn’t pay much attention to the movie as we sat, knee to knee, Indian style, eating our pizza and talking. He was telling me about the party that we were going to the following evening and about some of the people I would meet. He also told me a little about his co-star, whom I had heard of and was really looking forward to meeting.
“At first I thought she’d be this totally stuck up snob. I mean she’s worked with some big named stars out there–” He took a bite of the slice he was holding and some cheese missed his mouth and landed on his chin.
“–but she wasn’t?” I tenderly wiped his mouth for him. He grinned sheepishly.
“Not at all,” he shook his head. “I actually can’t wait for you two to meet. I’m more than sure you’ll hit it off.” He then went on about some of his other co-stars.
I was so intent on listening to him, I didn’t even realize the movie had ended.
“Do you want to watch the other one?” He started to get up, but I managed to keep him on the couch. I snuggled up to him, nuzzling his neck.
“Ya know, I think I’m a little tired, why don’t we save it for maybe the afternoon tomorrow?”
I pulled him closer. As our mouths met, I felt a jolt of electricity shoot right through me.
He started to deepen the kiss, but I playfully pulled away and pushed him back, pinning him underneath me to the cushions. Thinking I had him where I wanted him, I started to run my hands up his sides, when all of a sudden I found myself beneath him, being thoroughly kissed.
“Are you ready for bed?” he asked when he came up for air.
All little dazed I merely nodded.
Pulling me to my feet as he got up, he led me to the bedroom, leaving the living room forgotten until morning.
I began to feel nervous. I really didn’t know why, I had been over and over this with myself. I knew this was this night I wanted to share myself totally with him. I loved him and it felt so right being with him.
While I was arguing with myself, he headed to the bathroom. I took off the shorts and climbed between the cool sheets to wait for him.
I thought back to the first time I stayed here. I was little shocked because he didn’t have a guestroom. But being the gentleman he was, he offered me his room while he took the couch. I wouldn’t let him. I wasn’t kicking him out of his bed in his own home. We were adults, right? What was the harm in sharing the bed?
We haven’t slept apart while during our visits since then. It felt so right in his arms. I felt protected, safe in a way I’ve never known before. I always felt loved and needed while in his embrace.
When he came out of the bathroom he had nothing but his sleep shorts on. He got into bed. I immediately slid over to him. His arms slid around me while I snuggled up to him, placing my head in the crook of his shoulder.
I sighed.
“You O.K.? Or are ya just tired. You seem kinda tense.” It was now or never.
“A little of both, I guess.” I began to rub my hand up and down his arm, then moved lower to his chest, then stomach. I played with the little line of hair that began at his belly button and ended at … paradise. To me that was the sexiest part of his body.
He stilled my hand with his. Interlocking them together, he brought them both to my face and tilted my head up towards his. When I looked into his eyes I saw the love and desire that I was feeling at that moment. He nodded with understanding, though.
“You don’t have to, ya know. I love you enough to wait for you, when you’re ready.” I could not love this man any more than I did at that exact moment. For me there was no more doubt. I wanted him and I didn’t want to wait any longer.
“I just want you to love me. I want you to make love to me.” I released his hand and wound both my arms around his neck, running my hands through his hair.
“You’re sure?” Even as he asked me this, I felt his arousal and knew he wanted this as much as I did.
“I have never been so sure about anything in my life. Now shut up and kiss me.” I pulled him closer until our lips met.
The kiss seemed to last forever. My three alarm blaze went right to inferno as he explored my mouth with his tongue, re-familiarizing itself with every crevice. Mine soon met his, thrust for thrust.
While our mouths were busy our hands did some exploring themselves. His found their way underneath the T-shirt, rubbing my back. His mouth then left mine and he worked his way down to my neck.
I started to plant small butterfly kisses on his shoulder before moving to his ear.
“Baby, it’s seems you know what you want,” he whispered, the desire evident in his voice.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too,” was all that I could manage before we finally became one.
*****
When I woke up in the morning, he was not in bed with me. I looked over at the clock and noticed it was almost ten. I never slept in that late when I was with him. I got out of bed, dressed in the clothes I wore the night before, and headed out into the living room to look for him.
I walked into the kitchen to find a note from him on the counter:
“I had to take care of some errands for tonight. Be back as soon as I can.
Love, Me.”
Now that I knew where he was, I decided I was hungry. I opened the refrigerator to see what he had to eat. Inside I found some blueberry muffins (my favorite kind), so I grabbed one of them and the milk. I poured myself a glass and sat at the table with my breakfast.
I was reading a rather interesting article on a new breast enlargement clinic (seemed as if these Jiffy Boob places were popping up all over the place) when I heard the front door open.
He walked into the kitchen holding two garment bags, one of which I assumed held his tux. His face brightened when he saw me.
“Hey, you’re up,” he reached down for a kiss. “How are you feeling?”
“Yep, just got up actually, I feel fine, a little sore maybe, but definitely okay.” I gave him this big smile as I closed the paper and got up to rinse out my glass.
He laid the bags over a chair and pulled me into a hug.
“Any regrets?” He had this dead serious look on his face.
“None.” I smiled up at him again and hugged him back.
“Good, come in here for a sec.” He picked up the bags again and walked into the living room with them. “I have something to show you.”
I followed him, curiosity getting the best of me. He motioned for me to sit on the couch in front of him. Making myself comfortable, I watched him as he open up one of the garment bags to reveal a stunning little black dress. My mouth dropped.
“Please don’t be angry with me, but I kinda figured that this would be your first big wig thingy, so I thought …” his voice trailed off as I sat there and stared at what he bought.
I wasn’t even listening to him. I’ve never seen anything this glamorous, the closest thing that would even compare would be in the magazines I sometimes read.
Even though I was very touched that he would think of me on his big night, I wondered if I should have gotten upset. I mean I do know how to pick out my own clothes, but when it came right down to it, he was right. I’ve never been to anything Hollywood, so I accepted it as thoughtfulness.
“Hello?” He had a worried look on his face.
“I’m sorry, honey, it’s beautiful.”
“Not yet it isn’t.” I blushed at the compliment. “Like I was saying, I just thought I’d pick this up for you, just in case, but if you have something else you would rather wear I understand.”
“Well, your right, I don’t really own *any* thing that would even compare to this, so, yes, I will wear it and no, I’m not mad.” He grinned.
“Would you like to try it on? I wasn’t sure about the size so I just guessed.” He handed me the dress and I headed into the bedroom to try it on.
Well, the one thing I could always say about him was that the man knew me. It was a perfect fit. I looked into the mirror on his dresser. What I saw in the reflection amazed me, to think how much my life has changed since I met him.
The dress had spaghetti straps and hung to just below my knees. It was soft against my skin. It made me feel kinda sexy, just thinking about what his reaction would be when he saw me in it. The only things that were missing were some accessories.
“Honey? You okay in there?” He knocked at the door.
“Yes. It’s perfect.” I whispered, mostly to myself.
“Can I come in?” he began to open the door, but I pushed it closed again and giggled.
“Nope, not yet. Lemme get cleaned up and dressed, then we can go into town. I need some things to go with it.”
“But–”
I opened the door enough to stick my head out, “No, buts. Besides, I think I want to get my hair done.” I thought for a minute. “Maybe I should head out on my own. I don’t want to keep ya waiting all afternoon while I’m at the salon.”
“Uh uh, number one, you got lost last time you were here and I had to go get you,” I rolled my eyes– you get off one wrong exit and you never hear the end of it. “And number two, I want to spend the day with you. I can find something to do while you’re with the hair dresser.”
“Okay, fine, I’m going to shower.”
With that I shut the door and took the dress off. After hanging it up, I rummaged through my suitcase for my personal things, then headed off to the bathroom.
When I emerged a few minutes later, wrapped in a towel, I found that he had made the bed and put both my suitcases on top of it. While I was looking for something to wear, I unpacked a little, putting some things to hang in the closet. I probably should have done it the night before to prevent wrinkles, but I had had more important things on my mind.
I settled on just a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. It was still unseasonably warm for this time of year. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and finished tying my shoes.
I walked out to the living room to find him, once again, checking out some of the sports channels, trying to catch some scores from the night before. For a man who loved sports like he did, I am glad I never came second to them. (unless it was the Yankees, then I could forgive him.) I only liked watching them when I knew he was playing. There was something about a tight uniform and what it did to me. Sigh.
“Ready?” He asked as he flipped off the TV. I nodded. “Okay, lemme just let the dogs in.”
“Okay, I’ll meet you at the truck.”
We went to a mall, and he took my hand as we walked around, window shopping at first. I wasn’t sure what I wanted yet. I knew I needed a pair of heals, but I was debating about a shawl, just in case it was going to be cool.
When we came to the hair salon, I told him I might as well get my hair done and over with.
“Okay, I’ll meet you back here,” he checked his watch, “in a half hour?”
I grinned, then reached up and kissed his cheek, “Sweet, but no, make it one o’clock, beauty takes time.”
He grinned, “Trust me, honey, not for a natural beauty like you.” He gave me a quick kiss and watched me go into the saloon, before going on his way.
It didn’t take too long for them to wash and style my hair. While they were working on it, though, I thought about my relationship with him. I wondered where we would go from here.
We’ve discussed what we both want out of life before. When it came down to it we both wanted the same things: to fall in love, get married, and have kids. He told me that his parents made it look so easy, that’s why he wanted to do it.
As our relationship grew serious, his attitude changed. He no longer saw it as a walk in the park, and the long distance thing was getting harder, but it was something he was willing to work at. He wanted all the things his parents had and he wanted it with me, but then I realized it was something neither one of us had brought up in a while.
The last time I recalled talking to him about it was right when his filming began.
All of a sudden, thinking about the dinner we were going to attend, a thought hit me. What if his show hits it big? Where would that leave me? I’d never stand in his way of success, but would it mean leaving me behind?
I pushed that thought out of my head. Why was I having doubts all of a sudden, especially after a night like last night? I knew he loved me. I knew by the little things he would do everyday. Whether it was in an email, over the phone, or the way he seemed to make anything possible, even over the miles, he would find some way to say, “I love you.”
Before I knew it, the stylist was done. Looking in the mirror, I had to admit he did a good job. I had settled on wearing my hair up off my shoulders. Which then presented another problem. I needed something for my neck. Sigh.
I was done about fifteen minutes early, so I wandered across the street to the jewelry store. By the price tags I saw in the window, I settled on just looking at the display.
I didn’t get to check much out before I felt a pair of arms encircle me from behind. “See anything you like, gorgeous?” He whispered in my ear.
“Well, I don’t think my boyfriend would like me to accept anything from strangers. Besides it wouldn’t mean much to me unless it came from him.”
“Good answer,” he chuckled.
I turned in his arms and looked into his eyes and saw nothing but love. I couldn’t even remember why I ever doubted him.
“Your hair looks great.”
“Thanks,” I offered him a smile. “I’m pretty satisfied with it.”
“Are you getting hungry? We still have a few hours yet, we need to be there by five, but we’re not eating until eight.”
“Eight??” He let me go and settled for my hand again as we started walking.
“Yeah, they’re showing a preview of the pilot and then a brief question and answer period before they start the appetizers.” He looked over at me, “We can finish up with your shopping real quick and then grab something to eat. That should leave us just enough time to get ready.”
I nodded and pulled him into the next shop. For the next hour, we looked for the things I needed. I got almost everything I set out on getting. Then we grabbed something to eat. I never did remember to get something for around my neck.
*****
I was leaning over his bathroom sink, putting some finishing touches on my make-up when there was a soft knock on the door.
“Come in,” I looked at the reflection in the mirror to see him standing in the doorway.
What I saw took my breath away. He had on everything but his jacket. He was a good looking man to begin with, but let me just say he looked damn good in a tuxedo.
He stood there for a minute before saying a word, his eyes took on a glazed look. “You … look … god, you’re so beautiful.”
I smiled at him. “You’re looking pretty good yourself, handsome.”
He grinned. “Are ya almost ready? The limo is going to be here any minute.”
I closed the little case I was holding. “Yep, just touching up a little.” He followed me as I walked out into the bedroom. “So, tell me, how do I really look.” I turned to face him fully.
He let out a deep breath. “Honey, you look great, except for one thing.”
“Oh?”
He went over to his dresser and pulled out a small, long box from one of his drawers. He opened it up to revel a simple gold chain with a heart charm.
I thought I was going to cry. Had I not been all decked out I would’ve.
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered. I reached out to touch it.
“It doesn’t even come close to you, but I wanted to give you something tonight to thank you for sticking with me. It’s been hard, sweetheart, but even when you’re not here with me, you’re always in my heart.” He dropped his voice to a seductive whisper, “I love you.”
My eyes threatened to spill over from the emotions I felt. I couldn’t seem to find the words for what I was feeling, but for the millionth time in the last seven months I wondered how I got so lucky.
“Would you like me to put it on?”
Finding my voice, “Yes, please.”
When he took the necklace out of the box and reached around my neck to do the clasp, I put my arms around him and hugged him. “I love you, too.” I whispered in his ear.
Not caring about my make-up any longer, I kissed him long and hard, giving him everything I had. He returned it with all his love. We pulled away when we heard the limo pull up. As he put on his jacket I wiped the lipstick off his lips.
*****
The evening was a huge success. All the network bigwigs were very pleased with the finished product. Even though it had been decided the show would air in the fall line up, they announced that it would be shown during Prime Time on Sundays.
I was very impressed with his acting. He seemed to have very good chemistry with his co-star. They made the characters very believable. I had a feeling it would be one of the best portrayals of my favorite super hero. They even managed to make him look very good in the costume he had to wear.
I remember when he used to call after a day of shooting. He didn’t particularly like his costume, but he said would wear it if it meant he didn’t need the harness. The harness was there to help him with his flying scenes. He hated when he had to do flying scenes. He’s afraid of heights but he managed to hide his fear very well.
After the preview, they held their question and answer session. He had to leave me for that. I was left with his co-star’s boyfriend, who, in my opinion, was a schmuck.
I met both her and her boyfriend before the events got started. She seemed very nice, but kinda of shy. The more I got to know her, though, the more I liked her. She seemed like someone who would be able to keep my boyfriend out of trouble.
Her boyfriend, on the other hand, was outright hostile toward mine. He also seemed very bored with the whole event. I remained polite with him. I kept reminding myself that not all first impressions were best impressions. Funny how to this day, my very low opinion of him remains.
During the Q&A segment, I was so proud of how he handled the questions. He seemed very at ease with all his co-stars, too. I was also impressed with what he went through to prepare for the character. He watched some of the older movies on how his character had been portrayed in the past, although he said by watching those movies, he learned what not to do.
When all was said and done, we finally moved to dinner. I met the rest of the cast members at this time, too. I immediately took a liking to the woman who played his TV mom. She was a very strong willed person and it showed. I think some of her rubbed off on her character too.
The cast as a whole seemed really nice. They each had something nice to say about each other. He got along well with them and that was the important thing. He told me the real test will be in July when they began a regular filming schedule.
I really did have a good time, but was glad when the evening came to an end. It was pretty late and I was getting tired, but I was real glad when the limo driver took the long way back to his house. We made out like teenagers all the way home and it was only a promise of what was to come.
*****
The rest of the week was heaven, and we even managed to get out of the house a few times. He took me to where they filmed his show. We joined a tour of the whole Warner Brothers lot, and lingered longer on that particular stage area. We also got a lot of sight seeing done. He would tease that he had never seen this much of California and he lived here most of his life.
We spent a day with his family. Thank God I passed with his mom’s approval. She was okay. I thought she meddled too much in her son’s life, but wisely kept that comment to myself. His dad was a real nice guy, who promised next time he and George Strait got together I was invited. I didn’t get to meet either of his siblings, but he promised there would be time for that another day.
The most memorable night would have to be the night before I was to fly back home. He and I got decked out again, so he could take me to a fancy restaurant for dinner.
“Are you going to tell me where we are going?” I faked a pout. We were somewhere in LA.
“Nope.” He grinned at my pout and caressed my cheek. “Aw, come on, you can make it look real.” He loved to tease me.
I reached up and pull his hand into mine and kept it there. “Well, I just think it would be nice to know where we were going so I can think about what I might order. I mean was it seafood, French, or Italian? Mmm, what pasta does to me.”
He laughed his manly laugh. “Okay, we are going to,” he paused and looked over at me where I waited, my eyes shining brightly. “A restaurant that serves food.” He was proud of himself that he could keep me guessing.
I rolled my eyes at his boyish ways. You can make a man out of the boy, but you can never take the boy out of the man.
We finally pulled up to (insert famous, yet impressive, LA restaurant here). I was very impressed and looked around in awe. I had never been here, but I had heard great stories about the place and the people who frequented there.
“It’s our last night together, so I wanted it to be special.” He pulled me close. “This will be a night I hope you’ll never forget.”
When we walked into the restaurant I had a flashback to our first date. Except this time I knew where we stood and which direction our life would head. Yet, I still had this anxious feeling about what was to come.
The host led us to a table in the back part of the restaurant. With the way some of the decor was placed, it seemed almost as if we were secluded from the view of the other patrons.
The waiter came and took our drink order. He gave us menus and left us to decide.
He didn’t even open his menu, but placed it right to the side.
“Aren’t you even gonna look?” I was puzzled.
He gave me this heated look, “I already know what I want and it’s not on the menu.” He then relaxed into a smile.
I looked into his eyes as he reached for my hand. I saw a light in his eyes and knew it was burning for me.
After a few moments, when I was about to respond, the waiter appeared.
“Have you two decided what you would like this evening?” he asked as he placed our drinks on the table.
“Yes, we’ll both be having the grilled chicken, with baked potato and French dressing for the salads.” He was still looking at me.
I smiled at his memory.
His gaze never left me as the waiter finished taking the order and left. I’d barely known he was there, or anyone else in the restaurant, for that matter. My attention was focussed on one person, the man across from me, and the glimmer in his eye that that I knew was all mine. His face subtly shifted as I watched, growing serious, and then I saw something else there, something I couldn’t quite identify, but I felt the heat rise up my neck and across my face, and I had to look away. He reached across and took my hand then, and I looked up to face him once more.
“We’ll be together at Thanksgiving …” he started, but his voice trailed off.
I could only nod. I wanted to joke, to tease him about liking my mom’s cooking, that he should think about bringing a spare turkey, but anything I might have said caught in my throat as he sat up forward, and reached out with his other hand to envelope mine in both of his. He stroked my fingers, his touch finding simple ways to send shivers through me. I clutched at his fingers, feeling the warmth there, and … he was trembling. I looked sharply from our hands to his face, and tried to speak.
“But I don’t think I can do this anymore.” He’d spoken first, and my heart suddenly dropped like a rock. He grasped my hand tighter. “Honey, you make me so happy. I … I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately. Our relationship for one.” I looked over at him, confused. He smiled, and I let out the breath I had been holding.
“And you make me very hap–.” He placed a finger on my lips.
“There’s more.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “One of the things I’d been thinking about, well … two things … have been on my mind.” He paused again.
This time I waited.
“Honey, I love you and I know you feel the same. But there is one thing I want you to know before you get on that plane tomorrow. The next time you come here I would like it to be for good. Actually, when I come to visit next month, I would like to know that you will be coming home with me.”
I was speechless. I didn’t even know where to start, but before I even had the chance to respond, he was by my side. “And …” He knelt beside me and pulled out a small jewelry box out of his jacket pocket. “Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” He opened the box to reveal a small, but beautiful engagement ring.
Time seemed to stand still. I think I was in total shock. This was it. It was everything I had dreamed of. The man of my dreams had just asked me to marry him and I couldn’t manage to say that one simple word that would make all my dreams come true.
“Honey?” he seemed a little more nervous than before he began his speech.
All I could manage was a slight nod.
“Baby, either that was a ‘Yes’ or I just made a complete fool of my–”
I didn’t even let him finish that thought. I threw my arms around his neck. I ran my fingers through his hair as I pulled him in to the most passionate kiss that I could give him. In that kiss I tried to tell him how much I loved him and how much I wanted him. It was a kiss that told him forever belonged to us.
As we broke apart I gave him some smaller kisses, in between each I whispered one simple, three-letter word. “Yes.”
Chapter 5: Still the one I want
So that’s my story. I moved out there with him the month after that and we were married before they began summer filming. We’ve been married for about five years now. We have a beautiful son, a precocious three year old, named after his daddy. We both decided that we want more children, so we are trying again.
We have been through good times and bad times. I think the worst had to be during the third season of his show. Things had been a little stressed between us. We were adjusting to a new born baby along with my husband’s long hours on the set. It had begun to take its toll on both him and myself.
We were spending less and less time together. Sometimes it would be days at a time before I saw him. He would be working late into the night and then back on the set early the next day. The only way I knew he was thinking of me was hearing my name mentioned, or seeing it show up on some prop while watching his show. The show. That seemed like the only time I saw him, while I was watching TV.
Then the rumors started flying around about an affair between him and his co-star. Her marriage to the schmuck was failing and the daily rags were having their fun with it, at my husband’s expense.
I even tried to leave him during that time.
It was just after a party that was held for them in celebration of the renewal of a new season. I had been running a little late in meeting them at the restaurant. I had walked in when the both of them were sharing, what seemed like, a kiss.
My heart started to pound and the tears began to form. I just couldn’t comprehend what I was seeing. It was the first time the doubts and fears I felt while dating had resurfaced. This can’t be happening, I thought. I froze momentarily.
“Sweetheart–” he pulled away from her and started after me.
While I felt my heart break and my body go numb, my mind took over. Running on auto pilot, I left before he could reach me. With tears spilling down my face, I went home to pack a few bags. I wasn’t even thinking straight, but I was prepared to fly back home to the east with our son.
I had just finished filling a suitcase when I heard a car pull up. He had followed me home.
I heard the front door open. He called out into the house, “Honey?”
I was starting on a second suitcase when he came in to the bedroom. I couldn’t even look at him, let alone speak to him.
He walked over to me and stilled my hands. “Hon-”
“Don’t.” I pushed him away.
He watched as I grabbed a few more things off the dresser, including the TV remote, before he finally moved over to his dresser where he pulled some shirts and jeans of his and threw them into the suitcase on top of my stuff. I looked at the remote in my hand, suddenly foreign to me, and threw it across the bed.
“What do you think you’re doing? The point is to get away from you…” I finally looked him into the eye.
He looked around in total disbelief as I closed the suitcase and moved to lift it off the bed. He moved quickly to place his hand over mine.
“You can’t do this. You can’t do this to us.” His voice was full of emotion as he gently squeezed my hand. As he took the suitcase from me his next words were almost my undoing.
“I want you to know that there is nothing on this earth or in all the heavens that could make me stop loving you.”
He pulled me slowly to him and placed a soft kiss on my cheek. He whispered softly into my ear. “I’m sorry … I never would have hurt you like this … we were just fooling around, it was just a pose for the end of season scrapbook. You know how we can be, God, baby … you and I are too close to let something like this …” he trailed off. “If you want me to quit just say the word and I won’t go back.”
I looked up at him and I could see he was deadly serious but all my doubts and insecurities came to the surface to torment me. “I have to leave … to think … to put everything back into focus.”
With a conviction I hadn’t seen in his eyes in a long time, he lifted my chin to let his gaze meet mine. “I can’t let you leave. I am not going to let you go. Where you go I will follow.”
I eventually did go back east, but he came with me. We had a lot of things to talk about and felt it was best to get away from the limelight for awhile.
It was then that we found out that she was indeed having an affair — with one of the stagehands. The ‘kiss’ at the party had been caught on film by a photographer from one of the rags, who had just happened to be there. The photo was published and his co-star decided it was time to go public with her side of the story and her relationship.
I felt so guilty about letting my doubts surface, that I could have ruined my marriage because of them. Being the man he was, he helped see me through them. The trip home had been therapeutic for both of us. It gave us both the time we needed with each other.
The more things changed, however, the more they stayed the same. Even now, after the show has ended and moved on to syndication, the rags still have their bits and pieces on him. He moved into directing. Like his father he started doing country music videos. So the rags now have him hooked with this female singer. But I no longer hide my fears and I know the truth. I know who he comes home to.
Looking back on everything now, I know I’m still the one he wants. I guess I’ve always known. He is still the same sweet guy he was the day I met him and it still shows everyday by the little things he does … surprising me with dinner on his off day, letting me sleep that extra five minutes when he thinks I need it … sometimes he doesn’t even realize he does it.
We’ll see what more life has to throw at us, but I know together, we’ll survive.
THE END